Conversation !!

...much better. Feeling much better now after a lengthy yet meaningful conversation. Since last few months nothing was going good. I realized that the spark has gone out of our life. I was getting into a dark space with no road ahead, felt like crying all the time. I’ve been thinking about depression a lot lately. It’s something I’ve had to deal with quite a bit this year beacause am too far away from may family my country and my comfort area.I ’ve had various phases of depression over the past few months.

And no ,its not that am unhappy with my family or something causing me trouble. I was failed to come to a conclusion ...why?

Why is that?

The times I have been depressed have been some of the deepest times I’ve ever had with rahul. Though I have sometimes felt the farthest from Him during those times, they are the times I look back on where he truly touched me, taught me something incredibly important, or transformed me. Depression is hard, and it hurts like hell, and none of us want to feel depressed….and yet despite all of this, depression can be a very good thing. Instead of taking the opportunity to go deep within themselves and let transform themselves there, instead of asking the hard questions and facing their demons, some people shut down. They don’t address the causes of their depression and they become a shell of what they used to be, of what they could be. Possibly I could have been the same.

But Last night a small conversation changed everything...it changed my own outlook. I could now clearly see the problem and yeah that almost disappeared conclusion. I feel more relaxed now. Depression isn’t something to be handled, or controlled, or fixed. It is a chance, an opportunity, to run into your beloved's arms and let all your emotions out. To cry, to rage, to scream, to worry, to feel despair. He can handle all these feelings and he doesn’t need me to shut down like sometimes it feels like everyone around us wants us to. And in his arms my heart got transformed.

I feel everything around me is as new as it was earlier...as fresh as it is after a heavy rainfall.