We don't need anyone or anything to make us happy. It's just a state of mind. LOL so different to earlier post of mine.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Friday, April 25, 2014
Rediscover- New me
These days I have been thinking of doing something which is creative,and value addition. Have been trying different means to do that but all in vain. Teaching, dancing reading what ever excites me am thinking of all those things.
Last few months were very depressing but then realized that being happy is not so difficult. I made my own problems. I can be happy too if I change my focus from something which is not important to a more important.
Have been trying to make as many friends as I can.
I am fond of reading and have been reading lot of books online too.
I am loving this new me.
being happy is the state of mind. You can be happy if start looking for good things around you and avoid the negative vibes. I have done that and yes there is a significant change in my life.
being happy is the state of mind. You can be happy if start looking for good things around you and avoid the negative vibes. I have done that and yes there is a significant change in my life.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Freedom of thought,speech and life
Need a freedom.
I need a freedom of what I think,
I need freedom to what I say,
I need a freedom to how I look,
I need a freedom to how I live.
I need a freedom of what I think,
I need freedom to what I say,
I need a freedom to how I look,
I need a freedom to how I live.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Daughters are great best friends.
Love from the people around. Love from my two lovely children.
I always wanted to be a friend to my children but lately with my daughter the relationship has changed.
I guess the hectic schedule doesn't let me be her friend. But today I red something and that made me realize that daughters are great best friends.
Ranu I promise one day you will say "MY MOM IS MY BEST FRIEND"
I always wanted to be a friend to my children but lately with my daughter the relationship has changed.
I guess the hectic schedule doesn't let me be her friend. But today I red something and that made me realize that daughters are great best friends.
Ranu I promise one day you will say "MY MOM IS MY BEST FRIEND"
Is it so difficult to be happy.
last few weeks have been really depressing for me and am still analyzing why?
The answers lies within me but why is so difficult to come out of it.
I had a long conversation with myself last night and came to a conclusion that it's nothing but a state of mind. I have everything, a good loving husband, two lovely children and healthy and happy lifestyle. I will now ask myself on a daily basis - "Why am I so bored?"
We are all, it seems struggling with the fact that we feel dissatisfied- almost on an epidemic level.
I guess it spreads with the kind of people that you meet on a daily basis. I am working from home which I guess is very rare for the kind of profession that I am in. In a way I feel am blessed because not many moms with my profession have a good work from home option. Still that doesn't make me happy !
We all complain for wanting more from what we have. Why we don't realise that what we have is better then the other lot of people. phew !
The answers lies within me but why is so difficult to come out of it.
I had a long conversation with myself last night and came to a conclusion that it's nothing but a state of mind. I have everything, a good loving husband, two lovely children and healthy and happy lifestyle. I will now ask myself on a daily basis - "Why am I so bored?"
We are all, it seems struggling with the fact that we feel dissatisfied- almost on an epidemic level.
I guess it spreads with the kind of people that you meet on a daily basis. I am working from home which I guess is very rare for the kind of profession that I am in. In a way I feel am blessed because not many moms with my profession have a good work from home option. Still that doesn't make me happy !
We all complain for wanting more from what we have. Why we don't realise that what we have is better then the other lot of people. phew !
Monday, January 6, 2014
Filmi Aadaat
पिछले काफी दिनो से एक अजीब सी घभराहट अकेलापन और बेचैनी सी लग रही है।
अब तो लगने लगा है कि शायद मैं ही गलत हूँ। मेरे सब तरफ के लोगों को मुझसे इतनी तक़लीफ़ है तो मेरी ही गलती होगी।
ऐसा मैंने पहले कभी महसूस नहीं किया। पहले सब मुझसे खुश रहते थे मैं किसी पर निर्भर नहीं थी और न कोई मुझ पर। अकेले कुछ भी करो गलत है तो अपनी ज़िमेदारी और सही है तो अपनी। मम्मी पापा ने कभी किसी चीज़ के लिए नहीं टोका मगर बताया ज़रूर कि क्या सही है और क्या नहीं।
पहले लगता था मेरी दुनिया काफी बड़ी है मगर अब सिर्फ दो बच्चों में आकर सिमट गयी है उनसे शुरू होती है और उनसे ख़तम। जो अपने आस पास देखा उससे लगता है यह गलत है। जो मेरे माँ बाप के साथ हुआ नहीं चाहती वोह मेरे साथ भी हो अपने आपको किसी को ऊपर निर्भर नहीं करना चाहती। मगर इन सब से प्यार भी बोहत करती हूँ मेरे इनके अलावा है ही कौन।
फिर कैसे करून शुरुआत। फिर से वापस वैसी ही होना चाहती हूँ। पहले में किसी बात से इफ़ेक्ट नहीं होती थी अब छोटी से छोटी चीज़ पर इतना सोचने लगती हूँ।
ऐसी में नहीं थी। कोई दोस्त भी नहीं है जिससे बात करून। कहने को काफी लोग है आस पास मगर भाषण सुन्ना किसको पसंद है। सब सिर्फ भाषण देंगे जिससे सुनने का अभी मन नहीं है।
सीरियसली पहले यह सब लिखना विखना मुझे पागलों का काम लगता था। सोचती थी जिनका दिमाग ख़राब है या फिर बोहत फ़िल्मी है वही यह सब काम करते हैं। अरे यार अगर कुछ है तो लिखने कि क्या ज़रुरत है बस बोल दो किसी से प्रॉब्लम सोल्व ! हा हा हा !! हो गयी न मैं भी फ़िल्मी।
अब तो लगने लगा है कि शायद मैं ही गलत हूँ। मेरे सब तरफ के लोगों को मुझसे इतनी तक़लीफ़ है तो मेरी ही गलती होगी।
ऐसा मैंने पहले कभी महसूस नहीं किया। पहले सब मुझसे खुश रहते थे मैं किसी पर निर्भर नहीं थी और न कोई मुझ पर। अकेले कुछ भी करो गलत है तो अपनी ज़िमेदारी और सही है तो अपनी। मम्मी पापा ने कभी किसी चीज़ के लिए नहीं टोका मगर बताया ज़रूर कि क्या सही है और क्या नहीं।
पहले लगता था मेरी दुनिया काफी बड़ी है मगर अब सिर्फ दो बच्चों में आकर सिमट गयी है उनसे शुरू होती है और उनसे ख़तम। जो अपने आस पास देखा उससे लगता है यह गलत है। जो मेरे माँ बाप के साथ हुआ नहीं चाहती वोह मेरे साथ भी हो अपने आपको किसी को ऊपर निर्भर नहीं करना चाहती। मगर इन सब से प्यार भी बोहत करती हूँ मेरे इनके अलावा है ही कौन।
फिर कैसे करून शुरुआत। फिर से वापस वैसी ही होना चाहती हूँ। पहले में किसी बात से इफ़ेक्ट नहीं होती थी अब छोटी से छोटी चीज़ पर इतना सोचने लगती हूँ।
ऐसी में नहीं थी। कोई दोस्त भी नहीं है जिससे बात करून। कहने को काफी लोग है आस पास मगर भाषण सुन्ना किसको पसंद है। सब सिर्फ भाषण देंगे जिससे सुनने का अभी मन नहीं है।
सीरियसली पहले यह सब लिखना विखना मुझे पागलों का काम लगता था। सोचती थी जिनका दिमाग ख़राब है या फिर बोहत फ़िल्मी है वही यह सब काम करते हैं। अरे यार अगर कुछ है तो लिखने कि क्या ज़रुरत है बस बोल दो किसी से प्रॉब्लम सोल्व ! हा हा हा !! हो गयी न मैं भी फ़िल्मी।
Monday, December 9, 2013
Bas aise hi ....
अछा लगता है आजकल अकेले रहना। कुछ वक़्त मिल रहा है सब काम ख़तम होने के बाद सोचने का ,चुप रहने का। सात साल कि शादी के बाद पहली बार है। मगर सही है।
पिछले काफी दिनों सी अकेली हो गयी हूँ। राहुल काफी बिजी रहते हैं।
थोडा बहुत टाइम निकल लेते हैं। मगर फिर भी पहले छोटी से छोटी बात उनसे कहती थी अब सोचना पड़ता है। इतने से टाइम में कौनसी बात ज्यादा ज़रूरी है। बच्चों के पीछे, घर के काम में दिन निकल जाता है रात आते ही अकेलापन खाता है। किस से बात करूं दिन भर बच्चों ने कैसी शरारत करी किसे बाटूँ। थक गयी हूँ किसके कंधे पर सर रखके कहूँ " आज तो बस थका दिया बच्चों ने "।
सब कहते है जब बड़ी पोस्ट पर पोहंच जाते है तो ऐसा ही होता है। शायद आदत पड़ जाएगी।
कितना अजीब है एक इंसान के इर्द गिर्द आपकी ज़िन्दगी घूम रही है वोः अगर पास नहीं है तो अकेला लगता है। मगर आदत खुद ही डाली तब नहीं सोचा।
शायद अछा ही है खुद के साथ भी बात करना अछा लगता है.
गुलजार साहब का कुछ लिखा हुआ पढ़ रही थी अछा लगा इसलिए लिख दिया।
बे - यारो मददगार ही काटा था सारा दिन
कुछ ख़ुद से अजनबी सा
तन्हा , उदास -सा ,
साहिल पे दिन बुझा के मैं ,लौट आया फिर वहीँ ,
सुनसान -सी सड़क के खाली मकान में !
दरवाजा खोलते ही , मेज पैर रखी किताब ने,
हल्के से फड़फड़ा के कहा ,
"देर कर दी दोस्त "
पिछले काफी दिनों सी अकेली हो गयी हूँ। राहुल काफी बिजी रहते हैं।
थोडा बहुत टाइम निकल लेते हैं। मगर फिर भी पहले छोटी से छोटी बात उनसे कहती थी अब सोचना पड़ता है। इतने से टाइम में कौनसी बात ज्यादा ज़रूरी है। बच्चों के पीछे, घर के काम में दिन निकल जाता है रात आते ही अकेलापन खाता है। किस से बात करूं दिन भर बच्चों ने कैसी शरारत करी किसे बाटूँ। थक गयी हूँ किसके कंधे पर सर रखके कहूँ " आज तो बस थका दिया बच्चों ने "।
सब कहते है जब बड़ी पोस्ट पर पोहंच जाते है तो ऐसा ही होता है। शायद आदत पड़ जाएगी।
कितना अजीब है एक इंसान के इर्द गिर्द आपकी ज़िन्दगी घूम रही है वोः अगर पास नहीं है तो अकेला लगता है। मगर आदत खुद ही डाली तब नहीं सोचा।
शायद अछा ही है खुद के साथ भी बात करना अछा लगता है.
गुलजार साहब का कुछ लिखा हुआ पढ़ रही थी अछा लगा इसलिए लिख दिया।
बे - यारो मददगार ही काटा था सारा दिन
कुछ ख़ुद से अजनबी सा
तन्हा , उदास -सा ,
साहिल पे दिन बुझा के मैं ,लौट आया फिर वहीँ ,
सुनसान -सी सड़क के खाली मकान में !
दरवाजा खोलते ही , मेज पैर रखी किताब ने,
हल्के से फड़फड़ा के कहा ,
"देर कर दी दोस्त "
Monday, December 2, 2013
For my Loving son ArJun
Ever since you came to existence I knew that it's you.
When I was 6 months pregnant I felt you have changed me. I have become more calmer and peaceful. You and I share a different bond. I smile when I see you running to me with open arms. I love it when you cuddle with me while sleeping. You have loved me a lot Arjun.
I would want to be with you with each and every phase of your life. Never forget That I love you.Life is filled with hard times and good times.Learn from everything you can and be the man that I know you can be.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
To you Papa.
To you Papa.
Jab se hosh sambhala tha apko dekha tha ek strong anchor ki tarah hum sabke liye. Ek akela aadmi hathras se lekar gurgaon tak. Hum sab bachon ko woh har cheez di jo aapke bas mein thi best education se lekar best husbands tak. Mere liye woh pal bohat emotional tha jab shaadi ke din wali subah aap apne hathon mein tel lekar aye the meri mehndi per lagane ke liye jisse woh aur gehri ho jaye. Aur rote jaa rahe the. Mujhe nahin lagta mein ek achi beti ban paayi papa magar apko bohat miss karti hoon..meri roz ki life mein koi change nahin aya hai magar ek bharosa ki "papa to hai hi " woh chala gaya hai. . Sab kuch badal gaya hai apke jaane ke baad. Jis family ki roots the aap woh toot gayi hai papa.
I wish kuch miracle ho jaye aur mere papa wapas aa jaye i wish yeh sab ek sapna ho. I can do anything to bring you back papa. I MISS YOU A LOT. Aap jahan bhi ho ache se ho aur agar mujhe sun sakte ho to am sorry papa for not being with you when you needed us most and for not being a good daughter.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
a random thought which comes very frequently
aaj jab ranu aur arjun ko ladte dekhti hoon to lagta hai abhi ladte hain baad mein miss karenge ek doosre ko. mein bhai aur didi kitna ladte the saath mein. khaas kar mein aur bhai. pen,mangoes, chocolate , ice cream har chee per hathapai tak ho jaati thi.
magar ab ek doosre ki choti baat bhi mind kar lete hain. bhai to jaise bohat door chala gaya hai aur bilkul badal gaya hai. papa ke jaane ke baad choti si family reh gayi hai meri mayke ke naam per didi bhaiya aur maan.Didi ke saath to ab aisa ho gaya ki woh meri best friend ban gayin hai magar bhaiya pata nahin kyun bilkul badal gaya hai.
jab sab saath the tab sab acha aur sahi tha tab sab khush the jaise jaise hum sab log ek ek karke alag gaye sab badal gaya papa sabko chod kar chale gaye. Mummy rehte hue bhi hum sabke saath nahin hai.
I wish agar miracles hote hain to kuch miracle ho aur sab pehle jaisa ho jaye.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Chetan Bhagat’ s Article in TOI:
Chetan Bhagat’
s Article in TOI:
Specially for Indian Women. Do Read it and
share it with all the women you know..
Alright, this is not cool at all. A recent survey by Nielsen has revealed that Indian women are the most stressed out in the world: 87% of our women feel stressed out most of the time. This statistic alone has caused me to stress out. Even in workaholic America, only 53% women feel stressed.
What are we doing to our women? I'm biased, but Indian women are the most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues, wives and girlfriends - we love them. Can you imagine life without the ladies?
For now, i want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels.
One, don't ever think you are without power. Give it back to that mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She doesn't like you? That's her problem.
Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn't value you -tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand.
Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network - figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.
Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can't score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC, of course). It is okay if you don't make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don't work until midnight and don't get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.
Five, most important, don't get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbor may make a six-dabba tiffin for her husband, you don't - big deal. Do your best, but don't keep looking out for the report card, and definitely don't expect to top the class. There is no ideal woman in this world, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain - stress.
So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the b world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes, i don't want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be the happiest women in the world.
Cherish Womanhood!!
please share this to every woman you know...
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
A bright and shining Day Just Like that!!
How beautiful is the day bright and shining.
Look at sun up in the sky winking and smiling.
Busy in the business people around
running and mining for the daily round.
Who gets to see the nature at it's best.
birds are flocking and chirping aloud.
When the sunlight comes and conquer the rest.
Diplomatic Duniya
Kyun sach ka sabak sikhaye
Jab sach sun bhi na paye
Sach koi bole toh tu
Niyam kanoon bataye
These lines from a famous hindi movie song, make me feel like so connected to it. People call me assertive and direct. I say on the face what i don't like.May be that's not the way it should be in this diplomatic world, but that's me. Over last few months am seeing such diplomatic people around me who wants to be safe. They would choose not to say directly what bothers them or what makes them happy.
My biggest problem, if I don't like anything I will say that on the face may be politely or sometimes direct. I know that hurts the other person but no matter which ever way I choose they will be hurt. Who wants to take the feedback? No one.
I have lost friends because of thist but am happy that those who are with me now. friends & relatives, are the ones who understand this. those who don't are free to stay away.
Friday, October 21, 2011
My mood fluctuations
Right from the childhood I used to be the one who always wanted to be famous, successful,happy and cheerful.
No it's not that am not a cheerful person now but that's how I always wanted be. Had lots of friends, so many that my day started with them ended up being with them.
I have now realized that I have very few of them left now. Who is blame, our hectic lifestyle,my dependencies, or my other responsibilities. I have started behaving very irrationally these days. Who is to blame?
It is completely me and no one else.
So from hereon I take pledge to be with my friends and make as many as I can. Let's how much I succedd.
CYA
No it's not that am not a cheerful person now but that's how I always wanted be. Had lots of friends, so many that my day started with them ended up being with them.
I have now realized that I have very few of them left now. Who is blame, our hectic lifestyle,my dependencies, or my other responsibilities. I have started behaving very irrationally these days. Who is to blame?
It is completely me and no one else.
So from hereon I take pledge to be with my friends and make as many as I can. Let's how much I succedd.
CYA
Monday, February 2, 2009
Who is the Eye of my eye?
By whose touch does the lily smile
And open its beauty – bud?
Whose moonlit beauty
Do I see in the lily?
Who is the Eye of my eye;
Who is the Heart of my heart?
Alas, then why do I not see Him,
His face of transcendental Beauty,
Even in my dreams?
And open its beauty – bud?
Whose moonlit beauty
Do I see in the lily?
Who is the Eye of my eye;
Who is the Heart of my heart?
Alas, then why do I not see Him,
His face of transcendental Beauty,
Even in my dreams?
Friday, January 16, 2009
I will for sure
...NO whatever it is India is the best. I often land up in ending these conversations in the similar manner. May be because am far away from my country rite now and I miss eveything of India..or is this is like that saying which goes like"you can take an Indian out of India but cannot take India out of an Indian". I get in to a really strong defensive mode when people talk about US or UK being better then India.
Yes I do agree thet they are far better then us....security, developed economy and good legal system ,I don't deny all that. Very recently I had a very heated conversation with two of my husband's friend over the same topic...for me they are like the all time "US bhaqt" I assume that they don't want to go back to their country and they don't love their family.
I feel proud in saying that I don't enjoy being here and one day I will be going back to India.
I am of a belief that I cannot blame anyone when I know that I am also responsible for such state of India..someone has to take the responsibility and yes I am all willing to do that..really I would for sure do something so that I can say "yes I have contributed " don't know how? and when? but I will.
Yes I do agree thet they are far better then us....security, developed economy and good legal system ,I don't deny all that. Very recently I had a very heated conversation with two of my husband's friend over the same topic...for me they are like the all time "US bhaqt" I assume that they don't want to go back to their country and they don't love their family.
I feel proud in saying that I don't enjoy being here and one day I will be going back to India.
I am of a belief that I cannot blame anyone when I know that I am also responsible for such state of India..someone has to take the responsibility and yes I am all willing to do that..really I would for sure do something so that I can say "yes I have contributed " don't know how? and when? but I will.
Monday, January 5, 2009
कोई दोस्त है न रकीब है
कोई दोस्त है न रकीब है
तेरा शहर कितना अजीब है
वो जो इश्क था वो जुनून था
ये जो हिज्र है ये नसीब है
यहाँ किसका चेहरा पढा करूं
यहाँ कौन इतना करीब है
मैं किसे कहूँ मेरे साथ चल
यहाँ सब के सर पे सलीब है
kudrat ka har rang chura kar ek tasveer banoongi
Jo beet gaya woh purana tha
aane wala saal aur khoobsoorat banoongi
kudrat ka har rang chura kar ek tasveer banoongi
kuch yaadein hai beete saal ki kuch khatti kuch meethi
choda tha desh apna chodi thi woh sondhi apni meetti
aane wale saal mein hongi kuch khwaish puri
rahne na doongi koi tamanna adhuri
tarsi hui ankhon ko phir apne dikhenge
jinse bichde the saal bhar pehle woh apne ab saath milenge
ek khawab sa jo dekha hai use haqeeqat banaoongi
kudrat ka har rang chura kar ek tasveer banoongi
aane wala saal aur khoobsoorat banoongi
kudrat ka har rang chura kar ek tasveer banoongi
kuch yaadein hai beete saal ki kuch khatti kuch meethi
choda tha desh apna chodi thi woh sondhi apni meetti
aane wale saal mein hongi kuch khwaish puri
rahne na doongi koi tamanna adhuri
tarsi hui ankhon ko phir apne dikhenge
jinse bichde the saal bhar pehle woh apne ab saath milenge
ek khawab sa jo dekha hai use haqeeqat banaoongi
kudrat ka har rang chura kar ek tasveer banoongi
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Mera sapna ...sapna hi hai !!
kuch cheezein sapno mein hi achi lagti hai...sapnon mein kitni khoobsurat hoti hai...dil ko gudgudane wali....soch soch kar hum khush ho jaate hain..kash woh haqeeqat ho magar haqeqat mein hote hi uski woh khobbsurti kho si jaati hai...usse acha to hai sapnon mein hi use dekh kar khush ho jayein..
bas ek khayal aya so likh diya...acha kiya na !! shayad
bas ek khayal aya so likh diya...acha kiya na !! shayad
Thursday, August 14, 2008
lets celebrate Independence day
Let's celebrate independence day..no!!!
why because we are now proud owners
of hunger and pverty
of unemployement and terrorism.
of threat and blasts
of inflation and corruption
Have things really changed after 60 yrs of independence? do we have a educated India? Do we have india where women are now safe and secure? Do we have India where a girl child is not thrown in a trash? Do we have india where we have democracy? above all Do we have India where each individual is actually interested to bring a change(including me)?
NO !!
We have little to be proud of and very little to celebrate of any independence. This must not be forgotten while celebrating the Sixtieth Independence Day.
why because we are now proud owners
of hunger and pverty
of unemployement and terrorism.
of threat and blasts
of inflation and corruption
Have things really changed after 60 yrs of independence? do we have a educated India? Do we have india where women are now safe and secure? Do we have India where a girl child is not thrown in a trash? Do we have india where we have democracy? above all Do we have India where each individual is actually interested to bring a change(including me)?
NO !!
We have little to be proud of and very little to celebrate of any independence. This must not be forgotten while celebrating the Sixtieth Independence Day.
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